This Perfectly Imperfect Life

So I've posted here about my reactions to Oprah's hormone imbalance shows. Silly me broached the subject with my Mom this afternoon. She got that look on her face. But I went on, during which she said "I don't sleep well, I haven't slept well in years" to which I replied "I know and I told you YEARS ago that something was wrong - I bought you "The Wisdom of Menopause" when it first came out in hard cover and you've never read it." And then I went on because I'm tired of things about me becoming about (Mom) the other person. I told her that if there's a chance there's a problem with my hormones or throid and that I could feel a little or entirely better, then I have to explore this until I'm satisfied. I need to be as healthy as I can be too if we're going to try to have a baby! If this could help... I also told her if this is it for me and this is as good as I will ever feel, then I'll accept that. She as...

Her guests today are women who believe they are hormonally imbalanced as well as actress Suzanne Summers and Dr. Christiane Northrup. I'm listening to these women and I'm yelling out "Yes!" because they are me & I am them! I'm practically in tears!

At ShopRite on Sunday, it took an extra 10 minutes to find bread without high fructose corn syrup. (Arnold Country White and Pepperidge Farm 100% Natural Honey Flax Whole Grain). t took an extra 10 minutes to find cereal to snack on without high fructose corn syrup. (Mom's Best Naturals Sweetened (frosted) Wheat-fuls. The only Kellog's Frosted Mini-Wheats that have HFCS in it are the plain fosted ones I LOVE but these aren't bad). It took an extra 10 minutes to find cereal bars without HFCS. (Health Valley Organic). It took an extra 10 minutes to find granola bars without HFCS. (Health Valley Organic - so chewy it hurt my jaw! Hope the squirrels like them). Hubby was less than thrilled! Lol! Just FYI: Previously I've found the following without HFCS: Langers bottled juices, Nanina's in the Park pasta sauces, Stonyfield Farm Organic lowfat yogurt Smoothies, Multi-V Vitamin Water (lemonade), Green Mountain Gringo Tortilla Strips, Garden of Eatin Blue Chips ...

This has been floating around facebook and I was "tagged" there post mine (which I did today) but thought I'd post it here too, just fyi. Feel free to do the same on your own blog! 1> I love mugs and have more than any 1 (or 2 or 3) human beings can possibly use! 2> Our "back yard" is tiny (23'x15'?) but it's the only one I've ever had and I love it! 3> I'm Mother to an Angel in Heaven who would've turned 10 this year. 4> I'm terrified to try again. (See #3) 5> I love being a married woman! 6> I love watching all the birds who come to eat the seed I throw out, especially the Cardinals & Downy WoodPecker, and a new arrival makes my day! 7> I'd love to own & live on a farm. 8> I hate clutter but I love stuff! 9> Corn Pops & AZ Iced Tea are like crack for me! 10> I love taking pictures & tend to take too many, don't upload enough or print them out. 11> I love weekly planners - the...

The Heretic's Daughter by http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/978703.Kathleen_Kent">Kathleen Kent My review rating: 3 of 5 stars I'd give this book 3.5 stars if I could. I'm not fond of the POV being from Martha Carrier's daughter Sarah. The book builds very slowly though I think it's because you need to feel tension building and get a sense how the environment was in that time period, especially for women. The ending seemed not to fit the rest of the novel and was very vague. It's well written, her vivid descriptions give you the lay of the land, what the people look like, the scents of rural living, the tension of living in a time of religious zealots, fear of the unknown and isolation. I also think it's one of the most honestly written pieces I've read (fiction or otherwise) about Salem Jail during the time of the Witch Trials and for that, this is a very valuable read. Since we were just in Salem this October and I was doing a lot of readin...

My fellow creative and CoL Bunko! Blog sister Teri from Quinceberry ( http://quinceberry.blogspot.com/ ) bestowed upon me the Proximity award yesterday! I am so flattered and humbled by her thinking of me and I want to thank her again here. This has brought such a humble smile to my face! The Proximity award is for blogs which: "...invest and believe in Proximity; Nearness in space, time and relationships. These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and to be friends. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to 8 bloggers, who must then chose 8 more and include this text into the body of their award." Teri choose 3 people and their blogs to give this award to instead of 8 (which makes this all the more special for me!) and while I have 1 person/blog in mind already, I'm unsure as to whom else I will give this award to. I'...

Unless you really don't like Country music that is! Then you may want to turn 'em off! But give a listen before you do! You may be surprised.

Taken yesterday downtown at the beach at the Marina.

I have felt for so many years that something isn’t right with me. Something’s wrong. Physically. Sometimes emotionally. Since meeting Vic, I have come a long way. He agreed that something was wrong and fought for me (at times with me) to try and get to the bottom of it. In 2005, our Orthopedic told me something was wrong. In 2005, my Rheumatoidologist agreed. It’s taken a while but I’ve been better in this last year than I have been in 15. (This doctor at least told me up front that what he thought I had (Psoriatic Arthritis, an auto-immune disease) but if it turned out that none of the treatments worked, we would keep trying until we found something that did). But, something’s still not right. I watched Oprah yesterday and she was re-airing a show from last week about hormone imbalance, perimenopause and menopause. Watching these women I was watching myself. Listening to the women who are suffering from hormone imbalance was like listening to myself or reading my journals! Years of no...

As if remaking My Bloody Valentine in 3D wasn't bad enough, (and Halloween and The Omen and The Amityville Horror and The Fog, the list goes on and on)yet another classic horror movie is being subjected to "re-imagining:" The producers of the Texas Chainsaw remake and prequel have resurrected Jason Voorhees in a "re-imagining of the classic horror film Friday The 13th," (per http://www.fridaythe13thmovie.com/ ) due to open next month on Friday, the 13th. (At least they got that much right so far). After looking at http://www.fridaythe13thfilms.com/ it turns out this re-imagining (REMAKE) is actually based on the first 3 to 4 original Friday the 13th films. I'm mildly interested only because the trailer looks like they've made a good ol' fashioned horror movie (ala 80's style) which I like. I hate the look of all the new horror movies & remakes (grainy, dirty, mostly lacking color, only in shades of black, brown and blue). I may go see th...

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There's High frickin' Fructose Corn Syrup in my Arizona iced tea. WTF?

I appreciate truly the historical significance of this Inauguration and watching this piece of our Nation's history isn't lost on me. But, I do not know if President Obama can possibly live up to the unrealistic expectations that have been placed (unfairly?) on him by our Country and the World. (He is, after all, a human being, not a god, exceptional though he may be). Change can & will happen and I pray it takes our Nation to a better place than it is now, however if it doesn't happen instantly (which of course it won't) I believe many will be disappointed and angry. Ok, politic-ing & faltering optimism over!

How I LOVE this man! I took this at the bagel shop yesterday morning during breakfast because Hubby doesn't need to wear his glasses too often and I love how he looks when he does! This man still makes me giddy, still makes me sigh, still makes me smile from the inside out! He's the most amazing man I've ever known and sometimes when I look at him I still cannot believe he's MY husband! This incredible, strong, gorgeous man is my husband! Who'd a thought?! Certainly not me! My loser streak prior to Hubby led me to not want to get married and I had accepted that mostly likely I wouldn't. There's a saying that all women start planning their weddings when they're little girls. Not me. All I ever dreamed of was finding a man who loved & respected me unconditionally. I literally never gave a thought to marriage or weddings. I planned our wedding in less than 8 days for next to nothing ($) and it was one of the best & happiest times of my l...

There's ice on the bay and there's ice on the ocean beyond that strip of land! We woke to 3 degrees. 3. Yeesh. Once it gets below 19 and there's no snow, it's just unnecessary & brutal!

As if the last pic wasn't cute enough?!

If this isn't a peaceful creature, I don't know what is!

Yes, I'm happy it snowed! I took lots of pics today (keep scrolling down), ordered some free gardening seed catalogs online, got the rest of the Christmas decorations taken down and all are packed away. I even took down the tired but well loved light up reindeer out front and put them out to pasture. (That made me a little sad - I didn't want to get rid of them, they're my first ones, but they're old (I bought them at the thrift shop 2 yrs ago (?) for $5 each and they were old then) & mostly don't light up anymore, so... I'm actually fighting the urge to get dressed & run out to rescue them from the garbage as I type this. I know, I'm weird!) I also took the light up candy canes down to the basement with some of the indoor decorations. And yes, great googley moogley it's bleepin' COLD!

The birds tend to go a tad berzerk when it snows or rains & visit in droves for seed and other treats all day long. (The squirrels visit regardless).

I always feel like somebody's watchin' me & I ain't got to privacy!

Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

The mantle is now dressed for Winter & Valentines. (And the Christmas decorations are packed away).

I wasn't drinking from the toilet, honest! Only dogs do that.

Everybody was kungfo fighting!

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Of course there's nothing wrong with high fructose corn syrup in moderation, but when it's literally in everything you eat & drink, how are you supposed to use it in moderation?! (These new pro high fructose corn syrup commercials really irritate me!) It's in places you wouldn't even think of, in places there doesn't seem to be a good reason to be. For example, it's in yogurt, pancake syrup, bread, cereal, oatmeal, pasta sauce, juice & iced tea, frozen foods & fruit popcicles, ice cream, pies, cookies, cake, soups, jelly, peanut butter... Your body converts it to sugar which turns into extra sugar (since there's also sugar in all of these items) which turns into extra calories which can turn into a difficult time managing weight! Read the label on everything you buy and you'll be shocked! Not only that, look at the sodium in what you're eating ! All of the items I mentioned above are also loaded with sodium! All natural, low fat and o...

(Taken this evening, in front of our place). I took a break today from being overwhelmed, from thinking, from worrying, from reading, from journaling, from being aggitated by the tenants upstairs (they weren't home ALL day - Amen!) and from feeling like crap. Physically this was the first day in WEEKS upon weeks when I didn't feel like crap, though parts of my face, neck & chest are still red, itchy & puffy. Psoriasis - yesterday was horrendous! My face and arms were swollen, red, hot & itchy. It drove me crazy! And I had a nasty sinus headache. In an effort to keep my mind and body calm, I'm not yet going to get into here what I've been overwhelmed with, worrying & thinking about. Instead I'm going to focus on the break I took from it all today because it felt good. By the time Hubby arrived home from work, I felt good! It was quiet because, as I mentioned above, no one was home upstairs ALL day! I'd been outside to the basement 3 time...

In honor of home made chicken soup night tonight, only the best to eat from! I love this bowl! We have 2 of them and a coffee/tea mug to match. (There used to be 2 of the mugs as well, but there was an accident...) I bought them the year before last at the Marshalls Home Goods store. We use the lovely large bowls for soups & stews, for which they are perfect. Not to toot my own horn, but the chicken soup I threw together late this afternoon was excellent! I'm not usually a fan of it, but make it because Hubby likes it. I was quite pleased! I baked a 6lb chicken for dinner last night so I used the left overs for soup today. Heat 3 tblspns ev olive oil in a large pot then add shredded carrot, chopped scallions, a chopped onion, 1 pk of slice baby portabello mushrooms, 1 tblspn minced garlic and cumin seeds - stir frequently to coat everything & prevent burning - once the veggies appear to be getting soft at about 10 to 15 minutes (they start to look more clear than whe...

This is from CoL on GoodReads.com, a tiny conversation between myself and another CoL yesterday (1/13/09) in a thread called "The "W" word" (or something to that affect). Jo: I actually gleaned something useful from Oprah yesterday. She was talking to a woman who's previously been on her show who was over weight & had not only lost weight but had become a female body builder, who has now gained back most of the weight and is frustrated, embarrassed, etc.. Oprah told her not to make getting back into that bikini her goal, but to make taking care of herself the goal. And that really got me thinking! Losing 50 of the 70 lbs I gained has to be a part of the goal of taking care of myself and doing better for myself and my body. But, I haven't looked at it like that. I've looked at the things I'm doing to try to lose the weight as just a means to lose the weight - my goal specifically has been to lose that amount of weight. It has to be a part of a lif...

I just had a glass of wine in hopes that it will enable me to sleep through Hubby's snoring. If it works, I may become an alcoholic. But so far all that's happened is my sinuses have started up again (I knew that might happen but was willing to take the risk) and I'm terribly warm. Not to be spiteful or nasty but I sincerely hope his snoring is loud enough to disturb our new, ever so inconsiderate upstairs neighbors. They're no better than the original ones and to a degree are worse and I doubt I can take living underneath them for 3 yrs like I did the others. (Just more inspiration to get us out of here & out of NJ in '09).

If you go back 2 posts before this, you'll see a pic of little Baby Bobbi sleeping soundly in this basket. Today, I found her momma kitty, squeezed into the same basket! We may need a shoe horn & some nonstick cooking spray to get Momma out!

While I do love having more room again in our living room, (it's so cozy when the tree first goes up & until Christmas) I was a bit misty eyed as I vacuumed up the trail of pine needles that led out of our front door. But, as you can see in the pic, this Christmas's tree has a new purpose now, providing shelter for birds (and most likely a squirrel or two) throughout the rest of this Winter. (Just in time too with the temps not getting out of the teens this week). I sprinkled cracked corn around the base and all over the tree itself to get birds interested. Opposite this end is where I throw out seed, stale bread & cookies, etc. and today I've had a neat little visitor: A Downy Woodpecker! He's been here before, just not often. He's tiny, about 5" (adult males get to be about 6"). The larger Hairy Woodpecker (10" or so) is around on the property by the creek side & doesn't come over back here as far as I can tell. We may hav...

Snow storm shmo storm! So much for "plow-able, sled-able" snow! Sigh. At least I've got some great books, magazines & gardening catalogs to keep me company while I'm on the couch. (And I'm sure a kitty will join me shortly - you can't stay in one place for too long out here without one of them attempting to use you as a lounge pillow or scratching post).

We're in for a nasty snow & ice storm beginning early tomorrow morning followed by frigid temps that are going to stick around. (Hello Winter!) Though today is cold & windy, it's the calm before the storm: The sun is playing hide & seek with the clouds and bursts of snow flakes are are whisping around in the air.

The'>http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40440.The_Thirteenth_Tale_A_Novel?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_review">The Thirteenth Tale: A Novel by >http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/22665.Diane_Setterfield" Diane Setterfield My'>http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/41626211?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_review"> My review I am baffled by this book. I truly hated the 1st half of it. My progress went like this: I've gone from bored to frustrated to disgusted, back to bored again to mildly interested to annoyed that I wanted to keep reading to find out what happens, to my head spinning with all of the character twists & turns, to liking the ending. I am still shaking my head! View'>http://www.goodreads.com/review/list/834245?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_review">View all my reviews.

My head is feeling better but there's a spot on my right tonsil again & it's pretty swollen too, keeps making me cough. My thoat is beat red though doesn't really hurt - strep for me is like a healthy persons sore throat, little or no discomfort usually. (I have a high pain tolerance). Tonsilitis or a combo of strep & tonsilitis hurts like hell though! Not wanting actual "dinner" food as the thought made me queasy & knowing I have to eat (no appetite for food or liquids when I'm sick which isn't good I know - would be nice if I lost some weight as a result but those days are over!) I cooked up a pot of lentil soup late this afternoon. First time I ever made it & Hubby didn't look thrilled with the idea of it for dinner but said "This is actually pretty good!" I was glad! (Being sick never makes one a good judge of flavor!) I added 3 tblspns ev olive oil to a large pot & heated on med high, dumped in 1 & a half o...

I've added a new widget, Yoga Journal's "Pose of the Day." You can click on 'beginner,' 'intermediate' etc to change the pose that appears. You can find it by scrolling all the way down to the bottom here, it's not in the right hand column but will appear directly underneath the posts. (I put it there so it wouldn't be cut off/squished). I love Yoga Journal - there's a link to it in my "Sites of Interest" section in the right hand column. No matter who you are or where you are in life, there's something ineteresting to find there!

This is it! Sleet from yesterday afternoon thru last night turned to rain and raining it has been all day here. It's cloudy & dim but brighter now than it's been. And it's foggy. Temperature's going to drop so things will be icing up tonight. Hubby & I both went to our doctor's yesterday and we're both on antibiotics for sinus infections! (Me for strep too). Time to rest, take my meds & vitamins, stay hydrated, drink tea w/honey, eat yogurt (antibiotics & parts of me don't get along)... Would be great if I wasn't exhausted beyond belief, queasy and otherwise feeling icky! I've been in my comfy tshirt, yoga capri's, fleece robe & slippers all day, hanging on the couch w/the cats. (They love my fleece robe more than me at the moment!) The Christmas lights are lit on the now ornament-less tree and I've got 2 candles lit. I can finally enjoy the lights, my favorite part of Christmas time. Hubby went back to work t...

If, like us, you had a fresh tree for Christmas, instead of putting it out at the curb now for town pick up (most mulch them), you can take the tree (free of ornaments, lights, tinsil, etc.) and prop it up in a corner area of your property (secure with twine if needed) and it will provide shelter for birds throughout the rest of this winter! Once it's completely needle free & the birds are no longer using it, you can then put it out at the curb (whenever your town picks up brush) or chop it up for firewood. (We have a chiminea outside & will use the wood for that). Not that birds won't be attracted to the tree, but you can get a bag of cracked corn (on the pet food aisle of the foodstore) and sprinkle it around the base of the tree to get the birds interested. (Squirrels will most likely be curious too but mainly because of the cracked corn).

Today we took a ride up to Morristown to see Washington's Headquarters. Interesting yet disappointing at the same time - the Museum & Ford Mansion have changed. Hubby was expecting to see the items he saw back when he was there on a school trip & I was expecting the same from his stories. Our tour guide, a National Park Service Ranger named Pam told us the items have been switched out over time.

Taken this afternoon at Tatum Park, Middletown NJ. No, it's not Washington DC! I wasn't up to going. I did try, got up at 4am with Hubby, got dressed & we left. Made it to the first rest stop on the parkway, came back home and went back to bed. Not only did I have my IV this Tues which drains me for a couple of days but I also got my time o' the month an hour before my IV, so the combo is really knocking me on my arse. I really did want to go and I did make the effort but it was just too much for me today. We did take a walk this afternoon. What a difference today compared with the walk we took New Year's Day 2007! Then it was cloudy, humid and in the 60's. Today it was clear & sunny, windy and 23 degrees. We were exhausted when done so we came back home & haven't left the couch since!

Taken this afternoon at Tatum Park, Middletown NJ.