This Perfectly Imperfect Life

A snippet of my John Carpenter's Halloween collection. Inspired by the many recent discussions and essays floating around the inter-webs about John Carpenter's  Halloween  + the upcoming David Gordon Green sequel of the same name, and with one week to go before the official opening, I decided to take a look at the roots of my own  Halloween  fandom.  Back on October 25, 1978, I was nearly three and a half years old, and not at all aware of the soon to be phenomena that was John Carpenter’s Halloween released in theaters on that date. Three years later, when the movie aired on NBC TV for the first time on October 30 th , I didn’t realize that the opening music and flickering jack-o-lantern would be stored away in my memory for a much later time. My mother quickly got up, switched the channel, and Halloween was forgotten. Growing up, my mother wouldn’t allow me to watch horror movies on TV (not that many of those movies were on regular T...

New Jersey summers are infamous for many reasons like the shore and tomatoes, but unless you live here, you may not know the biggest one. To say that it is stifling outside is the understatement of the summer so far. The humidity is shocking and suffocating. Disgusting. Stunning. Oppressive. Sickening. Breath taking. And not in a good way.  I gasped loudly when I walked out into it this morning and got assaulted by air thick enough to bite it's so dense with moisture. Thank goodness for small favors and it's not hot too.  Here on the bayshore at the Portable Homestead, and up at the lake, everything is damp to the touch or sticky. Bed linens and curtains have to be washed more frequently now or they'll smell sour, like sweat. Powdery mildew (mold) will soon be sprouting up on anything that's made of real wood or leather, an unwelcome annual ritual we've learned to live with because we can't keep it from happening, no matter what we've trie...

"Bloom where you're planted." I keep trying, but, honestly? Not succeeding to my liking yet. Not by a long shot. Not sure how.  Maybe I'll finally figure it out one day. Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll conquer my fears, insecurities, and inertia one day so I can. And maybe I won't. I feel root-less, unrooted, and I wonder if that will ever change? Maybe it won't.  Maybe one day I'll finally get these novels out of me!  When your body tends to be ruled by pain, fatigue, and illness more often than not, it's so difficult to move forward and progress, much less think strait. But, I'll keep trying to bloom where I'm planted, even in this place that we don't own which is our home, anyhow.  And maybe one of these days, it just might happen.

I realize this is a process we all go through as we get, heh hum, older, but I think it may happen sooner than expected for many who are living with disease, like me.  When the holidays get closer, especially once Halloween is over, I miss the retail industry. In one area of my past, I ran retail businesses, from mom & pop shops (my favorite) to big box chain stores. It was exhausting work, not always the most rewarding (apologies, but the customer is *not* always right), but overall I enjoyed it and excelled at it.   My favorite part of it all was when I worked in the mom & pop shops doing merchandising. Creating themed displays and windows, especially during the holidays, was so much fun! I think it's what I miss the most. A creatively productive outlet that was fulfilling.  I always thought I would end up owning my own retail business. Garden nursery, books, office supplies, decorations. Something along those lines. Or a retail merchandising business where I di...