This Perfectly Imperfect Life

it's hard. this morning was beaufitul ~ warm with a breeze & sunny. not humid. i took a quick walk around the complex to unlock the vacant apartments for the painters & contractors. i was feeling good, emotionally and physically. but, it's always so brief. even though it lasted for a few hours, it's still over shadowed by the not feeling good part. while sitting on the couch, trying to begin a new book, "a good yarn" by debbie macomber, waves of queasyness washed through me. my heart rate sped up. i was light headed & suddenly knock down - drag out tired. blood pressure dropped? not enough to eat? dehydrated? sinuses? i got up and poured a mug of gingerale & brought the pretzel crisps with me back to the couch along with a bottle of water. i drank from both and i ate some pretzels while i wrote everything down. it's so confusing to be fine one minute and not the next. i've always done this ~ sporadically, not consistently and

these beauties will find their homes throughout my gardens, especially the one that was ruined this week. (see: "Runied," "The Horror, Part I" and "The Horror Part II). they are so beautiful and make me smile so inside.

i just can't believe this is the same garden as pictured below in "Ruined," but, it is! it breaks my heart to see it like this ~ and for no good reason.

this is the same garden as pictured in "Ruined" below. i can't stand it.

these pics are of what my one garden used to look like ~ it was just getting so full & colorful ~ so complete looking. i can barely talk about it. most will think i'm ridiculous. but i can't help it. the landscaper's pathetic excuse for workmen destroyed one of my gardens yesterday ~ trimming the hedges & bushes, which any landscaper or gardener with common sense knows you don't cut back hedges & bushes at this time of year due to the strong sun, heat & humidity ~ and what was done was done out of carelessness and spite. (i'm sure the fact that none of them speak a word of english didn't have a thing to do with it ~ it's so obvious they're trained & know what they're doing ~ bull shit).

i don't want to preach or get political ~ that's not me. but, tomorrow is about more than bbq's & fireworks. i just want everyone to remember that and why we're able to celebrate as we do each year.