This Perfectly Imperfect Life

i can't believe it's after 3pm already. i've done nothing today. nothing. i feel like crap. i'm tired. i haven't had a restful night's sleep in a while cause we desperately need a new mattress. it's so uncomfortable & painful. we flipped & rotated it last night, can't tell if it's helping yet. i've got HUGE, painful pimples on my face (mainly on my chin) that aren't going away. no matter how much i scrub and put stuff on them. i've got a headache & my head's all congested. i'm hungry lately ALL THE TIME! today i'm also on the verge of tears for some unknown reason. i'm a writer. i'm supposed to be a writer and i can't write. i don't write. i don't know what's wrong with me sometimes.

Gad! No wonder people have a hard time believing I am in my 30s! The Enbrel shots cleared up my skin. The Remicade makes me more oily than a grease vat! And I have a painful game of connect the dots going on on my face!

yippie! happy dance! made my last tuition payment & submitted my final exam for my gardening and landscape design course this afternoon! got a 90% on the exam (cause i marked the wrong spot for 1 answer ~ dang it! the other i just plain got wrong!), so my overall gpa for the course is 93%!

yeesh! yesterday started off with a NASTY sinus headache on top of my cold! i was in bed until about 3:30 yesterday afternoon! throughout the day i was also getting either back spasms or stabbing kidney pains on my right side, so i'm not sure if my back's acting up or if i've got kidney stones again! i took my 2nd to last exam for my gardening & landscape design class and got a 75% on it (my lowest grade for the entire course!) but at least i passed! got 1 left and i plan to take that later today! once i was finally up & about, i took some garbage out & found the beauties in the pics above just outside my fence by a tree! (only they had no pots!) guess someone decided they'd had enough of their easter flowers! i was so excited & uplifted by this find! ('a gift' as i called it!) ok, that's actually an understatement! i was giddy over it! (yup, i'm a gardening geek through & through!) once they're done blooming, i can either le...

A beautiful end to the day! The wind finally died down, the clouds skeedattled, the sun came out fully and it got up to 62 degrees around 4pm! Sounds like there is another brush fire down the highway from here - firetruck and first aid sirens are screaming from every direction around here! Only gets like this when there is a brush fire. Hubby is over at the high school for computer class. I dont usually sit on the front porch, but this is where all the sun is at this time of year so its still too chilly to be out back. Ive been feeling a little restless and wanting to be outside lately! So here I am, sitting on the front porch amongst my pots of flowers which are just beginning to wake and turn green! Also lately the idea of living with less has been on my mind. Ive been going to the library to save $ and at 1st thats why I stayed away from the thrift shop, but I realized Im more aware of what and how much Im bringing home and I want to get rid of excess stuff at home!

Just got 2 3rd row tickets for May 23 to see the country music cutie above! He has an amazing voice! I am so excited!

well friends, i've been blessed with the gift of time again since my social security disability has been approved! since i really don't know how to NOT worry about everything & anything, it's going to be a while before i unwind! i'm hoping this will help with my overall physical health too. in the mean time, i'm going to concentrate on my writing and finishing my online courses. i woke with a cold coming on today & i'm so very tired, but, things are actually going to be ok now! i'm so very thankful! you have no idea!

This is 1 of our 9 grand nieces! Such a sweetie! We got the judges decision about my social security disability in the mail yesterday - it is fully favorable to me, so I guess in soc sec speak it means I got approved!

oh what a beautiful day! yes, it's raining! but the air smells sweet & spring-y and the cardinals & mocking birds are calling! i sent an email this morning to a local soup kitchen, that also provides clothing & other necessities, asking if they would take used books and let the patrons go through them & take what they like ~ my only conditions are that patrons are asked to return books they don't want to keep so that others can read them if they wish and that none of the books are thrown away by the soup kitchen! if they wish to stop having them or if some of the books remain a long time while others are taken, they can contact me and i'll take those books back and find another place to bring them to (maybe the local senior housing). i hope i get a positive response! otherwise, i'll figure out something else! tomorrow is not only the 1st day of spring, but holy thursday for catholic's & christians! followed by good friday and then sunday is easte...

and a beautiful day it is! yup, i'm wearing green! i had 2 slices of irish soda bread, toasted w/ a little butter & jelly, for breakfast! (bought at acme foodstore & i'm quite impressed because it's delicious!) and i've got the st. patty's day parade from nyc on the tv! just before 1pm i started the corn beef brisket in the crock pot! i've never made it before, so i hope it comes out good! about an hour before it's done i've got to add the potato's & maybe carrots and a half hour before it's done i have to add the cabbage & onions. i'm feeling rather festive today! not sure why. i miss my nana a lot around st. patty's day! she was irish and growing up i thought today was as important to her as any other holiday! *my 1st corn beef, cabbage & potato dinner was a success! hubby & mom both liked it! (i thought it was pretty good too!) i've decided it's now going to be a tradition on this here day! (i didn't...

Any flavor, really! This happens to be strawberry banana and not 1 of my favs! Cats and dogs can be so surprising and funny! She also likes chocolate Ensure (vitamin drink!), strawberry and mint chocolate chip ice cream and spaghetti sauce!

i started taking calcium with vitamin d(3) sometime last year, either late summer or fall. almost immediately i noticed a drastic change in my pain & swelling levels, overall. i’d only been taking it about a week! the only thing i was doing differently at that time was that i’d started taking the supplement! (my obgyn had been bugging me to start calcium supplements, blah, blah, blah...!) i did a bit of hunting around out in cyber space and found that vitamin d deficency has been linked to all kinds of things like depression, autoimmune diseases like lupus, chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia and others! i was surprised to learn this as i’ve had a "compromised" immune system for about 15 years or so (that’s when i started getting sick at least) and not 1 doctor i’ve ever been to ever mentioned that 1 of the possible causes could be vitamin deficency! but, it made sense to me! more recently, i read an article in the january/february edition of mother earth news ma...

i've got 2 exams left and a total of of $55.48 due for my gardening & landscape design course! this means i'll finish on time, by/before the end of march 2008, exactly 2 years from when i first signed up & rec'd my initial materials! (march, 2006) my overall grade average is 94% to date! once i get through the last 2 exams & payment, i'll receive a certificate! (i've still got a ways to go on my interior design course! i started it in 2007).

My Aunt told me the wk before that the Snow Drops were up all over her property! The ones here turned up the end of last wk but I never got around to taking a pic! I am sorry to see Winter go, especially since we had more warm weather than cold and only 1 substantial snow fall! But the gardening bug has me itchin again!

That makes 14 total so far! Yippie!

They have the right idea! A nasty rain storm has just begun and it has been raw all day! I have been watching and taping a couple of Rebeccas Garden dvds I picked up at the library yesterday! (I LOVE GARDENING!) Not much else got done today since I have had another nasty sinus headache from the i.v. med!

that i'm wearing sweat pants and i don't look huge! i've lost 11 lbs as of my dr's appt on monday & i changed what i eat & how much i eat throughout my day in january ~ only 59lbs more to go to lose the total of 70 lbs i've gained since getting hurt @ work in 2004! speaking of my dr's appt on monday, my obgyn says everything's fine ~ no fibroid tumor and no miscarriage. the double periods are from the birth control pill i'm on. (i sure don't remember him telling me that when he prescribed it 3 years ago!!!) i have an appt with my rheumatoidologist next wednesday & my next iv treatment on friday, 3/14.

Thats my girl! Recently, Barbara from WritingTime.net called Booper gorgeous on her site after I posted the link to a pic of her on here! And that she is! I adore her in a different way than the other kitties! Today I find out if what I have been going through is an abnormal period or a miscarriage. I have an appt with my OBGYN this afternoon. My PCP thinks I way have a uterine fibroid but I doubt it since I have none of the symptoms! Regardless, I am getting butterflies in my stomach and my heart is racing a bit! I am not only worried about possibly miscarrying, but also that maybe my new iv med is not working they way it should on me. Ok, worried is an understatement! I am scared!